Dec. 14

Winter ~ I hate it!

 

Ok, I know, I know — hate is a very STRONG word, but I am sorry. I DETEST WINTER!!

When I was a young girl, I could not wait for it to get here! Oh yes! Win­ter meant my birth­day! Win­ter meant Christ­mas!! All this = presents for me!!

Although today after just turn­ing 40 on Decem­ber 7th, I no longer wish for my birth­day to get here! Yes, my most favorite hol­i­day of all is Christ­mas Day, the birth of Jesus. I love Christ­mas with all of my heart — and love to see the snow on Christ­mas eve and Christ­mas morn, but after that — I wish for it to be gone!!

When win­ter approached me as a lit­tle girl, I could hardly wait to pull out my tobog­gan! I could not wait to use my crazy-carpet! My lit­tle orange plas­tic skiis called my name! The thoughts of build­ing a snow­man excited me!

Now? Not so much. The thought of win­ter fright­ens me! I am scared for my father who is an elderly dri­ver when he has to go out to doctor’s appoint­ments or what have you. I am scared for all of the driver’s in my fam­ily who must head out to work daily on those slip­pery unplowed, unsanded streets! I am afraid for the poor elderly folks who reside in homes that yearn for a breath of fresh air and end up falling on the ice and break­ing their very frag­ile bones! I am afraid for the poor lil chil­dren who walk home alone, fear­ing that a car will not be able to stop after slid­ing on ice and hit them! Win­ter is a bloody night­mare to me!!

Any psy­chol­o­gist would tell you that this is pure cat­a­strophic think­ing, but unfor­tu­nately it can­not be helped!

I have been to a psy­chol­o­gist in the past, try­ing to recover from my ‘what if?…what if?’ the­ory, and sure it helped for the first month — only to return and hit me ten-fold later.

Why is it that I worry so much? My doc­tor says that it is pure anx­i­ety that causes me to con­stantly stress. I can never get the ‘what if’s’ out of my head…to the point where I drive myself nuts!! An exam­ple: My par­ents left for Florida for a trip last April for a week, on the plane with my old­est sis­ter and her hus­band. Was I happy for my par­ents because they have never been to Florida before and well deserved this trip to rest and relax? No.

What if their plane crashes?? What if my sis­ter and her hus­band wan­der off and some­one hurts my par­ents? What if they get sick while they are there and have to be hos­pi­tal­ized? What if some­one breaks into their room and harms them? OMG for that entire WEEK I felt sick!

But wait! I am 40, and my mom is 75, dad is 80. Are they not old enough to look after them­selves? Hmmm…good ques­tion. Why was I play­ing the par­ent role?

I am for­ever walk­ing on pins and nee­dles, as this is the way that my daily life is. My hus­band says that my prob­lem is that I just think too much. Maybe it’s true, but I don’t know any other way of think­ing. How do I even begin to think ratio­nally? My mind has been this way ever since I was young, so this is nor­mal for me.

Most peo­ple lay in bed and fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pil­low. Not me though! It is a require­ment to lay down and think for 1–2 hrs first, and then fall asleep. Is that nor­mal? I should say not.

stressed

God does not want us to be stressed!! We are sup­posed to cast all of our wor­ries, fears and bur­dens unto Him and clear out life of all these anx­i­eties! It’s seems as though no mat­ter how hard I pray, or how hard I try to cast all of my wor­ries away, it just does not seem to go away.

Any­how, enough of my rambling…did you know that I hate winter??

 

Tags:

» One Response to “Winter ~ I hate it!”

    1
  1. Piroska
    December 16th, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    I hear ya!
    I live in NW Ontario–and I lit­er­ally hiber­nate from Octo­ber through to May (and yes, we some­times still get snow in May!).
    I grew up in Van­cou­ver, so snow was a once every 5 year deal–and it was fun, then…
    Now, not very much.
    Though…I’d still rather have snow than the Arc­tic deep-freeze we’ve been in for the last week!
    :o )