Posts Tagged ‘In Memory of my Dear Brother Eddy who is now in Heaven’
In Memory of my Dear Brother Eddy who is now in Heaven.….
Monday, November 30th, 2009
In memory of my Dear Brother Eddy
5 years ago today, my brother Eddy was taken from us so unexpectedly.
At the very young age of 43, God took Eddy home.
Tears dwell in my eyes as I sit hear playing Amazing Grace repeatedly. My heart has been broken since the day of Eddy’s passing on November 30th, 2004.
It’s a day never to be forgotten.
You see, Eddy was an alcoholic.
During the last year of his life in 2004, Eddy sought help and became sober. He went from our local detox center to a rehab center where he was certainly a changed man. Usually when Eddy was sober, he would shy away from anyone, and anything.
The last year of his life he was actually brave while sober! Eddy did things he had never done before! He went places in public all alone other than the beer or liquor store! He went to different community events! He went and got a tattoo! Wow we were so proud of Eddy, and we certainly praised him up!
He worked at a local steel company for many years, where they paid him sick leave to try and get better and overcome this alcoholism. You see, if you are not an alcoholic, nor do you know any, then let me explain something that I now know.
Alcoholism is a disease.
Eddy was an alcoholic for quite a few years. There are six of us kids, and most of us had the occasional social drink, however Eddy would drink all day or night. He would hide the booze around the house and keep a stash. We got to know the signs. We tried to get him help for many years, but it appears that we did not do enough as a family.
I often blame myself for Eddy’s death. If only, if only…are words that are in my mind steadily.
I suffer through bad depression and anxiety as it is, but Eddy’s death seemed to make everything a whole lot worse.
Eddy owned his own home, and had a really good job. He had a huge heart, and was a comedian! He was never physically abusive. He was a great guy, period. He never got into any type of trouble with the law. He was single, because he was too shy to go out and meet girls.
I lived at Eddy’s house with my ex-boyfriend at the time, Kevin. He drank quite a bit then, however always managed to make it to work, no matter what.
After my ex and I split up and he moved out, I remained to stay at my brother Eddy’s. I started dating again and things were fine.
One night on Eddy’s 41st birthday, June 26th, 2001 I stayed at my parents overnight.
When I went home the next day, the house was a complete disaster. I did not know what the heck went on, but booze appeared to be all over the sticky kitchen floor, and everything was strewn about. In awe, I called for Eddy who was in his room to see what had happened.
He looked at me with a funny look, almost unaware of what I was talking about.
I knew something was wrong, right then and there.
He went back to sleep and complained of having a terrible headache. I just assumed that it was a hangover, so let him rest while I cleaned up the entire house.
All that week I hardly saw Eddy. He had me call into work for him the majority of that week, continuously complaining of that headache.
I got scared and called my other brother to take him to our local emerge department. They went alright, but they ended up treating and releasing Eddy, saying that it was ‘just a headache’. Home they came.
The following week I heard the same thing almost daily about his headache, and REALLY knew that something was up.
Another brother went back to emerge with Eddy, as to which I got a phone call a few hours later. “Heather? Pack your bags. You have to go with Eddy to Sudbury as they did a CAT Scan and he has bleeding on his brain. You 2 are being air-lifted now!”
The tears flowed like you would not believe after hearing those words and I started to shake like crazy.
I got ready quick, and away we went!
The tiny plane was only a 3-seater, and prior to this Eddy often told me that he would never fly. He watched that movie “La Bamba” with Richie Valens and that really frightened him. The doctor gave him an atavan at the hospital prior to leaving, but it did not even have an effect on Eddy as he was terrified!
As soon as the engine of the plane started Eddy was laying on the stretcher and yelled “What is that?” The pilot then replied “That is something that you WANT TO HEAR buddy, that is the engine!” (Finally, I saw Eddy smile and laugh)
A short while later we were in the Neurologist Unit at a hospital in Sudbury Ontario. The neurologist came in right away to see Eddy. She asked him alot of questions — as to which he was confused by most at that point. (His date of birth, his address,) simple things like that.
I was so scared by all of this I needed a cigarette so excused myself and away I went.
When I returned, The Neurologist told me that Eddy would be going for an MRI first thing the next day.
I stayed at a really nice inexpensive place for families of patients, and went there for the night alone. All I did was lay in bed trying to focus on the tv, but all I could think about was my poor brother.
I returned to the hospital the very next morning super early, and went with Eddy for his MRI. All of my family at home was worried sick too, so I had to call and fill them all in on the happenings.
Shortly after the MRI, the Neurologist pulled me aside. She asked what had happened, if I knew anything. But the worse part is, that I didn’t.
Eddy had apparently went to a house party the night of his birthday as I found out shortly after by some people at a local bar.
The doctor proceeded to tell me that his brain had completely shifted, and this could not be done by a simple fall. So, our conclusion to all of this was that Eddy took a severe blow to the head. Hence, someone did this to my poor, poor now deceased brother the night of his birthday at that party. It makes me so sick to think of it now, but later when I asked questions, no one seemed to know anything of course.
The doctor gave my brother 2 options:
1) To operate and try to stop the bleeding, or
2) To just go home and pray it heals by itself.
Eddy opted for #2.
We went home the next day, and the following week Eddy returned to work.
Everything appeared fine, but then the Grand Mal Seizures started.
Our family doctor gave Eddy Dilantin to control the seizures, however at that time Eddy continued to drink so the pills never even kicked into his system. What a horrible horrible thing to live through, as to see someone having one seizure after another! My stomach was constantly sick, and I was walking on pins and needles, just waiting for the next seizure to strike. Alot of times he would end up hurting himself through them, (he once Banged his head off of the cement floor in the basement one night after falling down the stairs, etc) I would continually have to get the ambulance to our house as his heart rate would go up profusely. It was an extremely devestating thing to live through. He would take one seizure and come out of it, and then a lot of times wait about 45 minutes until another one struck.
We begged and pleaded with Eddy to get some help, until 2004 when he went willingly to our local detox center. He seemed to really like it there, and we visited him often. He went back and forth to work from there, and the seizure meds were actually working because he was not drinking. I sure felt at ease in my heart knowing he was there and he was safe.
After staying there a short while, Eddy’s bosses visited him to see if he would like to go to the Ken Brown Recovery Home here to seek further help, more detailed than at the Detox center. He agreed, and they said they would give him sick pay while he got better.
The guys at that Recovery home treated Eddy like gold. They had him involved in alot of activities, and he made alot of friends there.
Eddy stayed there for a few months, until the bosses visited him one more time, asking if he would like to go to an extensive Alcoholic Rehab Center 3 hrs east of here called “Camilus”. He told them he would think about it, and then called to tell us of his decision, that he would go and get extensive treatment for once and all.
Those words were like music to our ears! Camilus is very well known around here as well as a very reputable Rehab Center.
That was at the beginning of November 2004. They scheduled him to leave the morning of November 30th.
November 29th was my best friend Becky’s birthday, as well as my brother-in-laws. Mom and dad invited all of us over for coffee and cake to celebrate the birthday’s. Eddy had to stay at my parents overnight as they had to drive him to the Greyhound bus station that next morning to leave for rehab. (Eddy lost his driver’s license due to having all of those seizures, and this hurt him alot.)
We had a lot of fun that evening, and shared tons of laughs.
I too stayed the night at my parents, and said my goodbye’s to my brother Eddy as I knew that they were leaving really early that next morning for the Rehab Center.
“Goodnight Eddy” I said. “Be good, stay strong brother, and I will see you in a few weeks when you come home for Christmas Break! I love you Eddy!”
That was the very last time that I saw my brother alive.
Eddy went to Camilus Center on November 30th, 2004, and passed away on his very first night there of ‘natural causes.’
Eddy died sober.
I miss you and love you so much brother. Rest in peace Eddy. My heart continues to ache, but I know that you are my Guardian Angel. I know that you are in a better place now.
Psalm 23 (King James Version)
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.…
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.
T’was Grace that taught…
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear…
the hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares…
we have already come.
T’was Grace that brought us safe thus far…
and Grace will lead us home.
The Lord has promised good to me…
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be…
as long as life endures.
When we’ve been here ten thousand years…
bright shining as the sun.
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise…
then when we’ve first begun.
“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.…
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.
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